I had a vague recollection of having read Jojo Moyle’s books before, and I think I liked them but nothing could spring to mind for definite. Me before you on the other hand, is one of those books I will never forget having read.
Will was an active young man, who went on adventure holidays and who loved nothing more than pushing his body to extremes. Until one day, when a chance accident leaves him not only in a wheelchair but completely paralysed. Now living at home with his parents, he has surrounded by anything and everything that he could possibly wish for, apart from the one thing he wants – his freedom.
Lou still lives at home with her parents and works in the local café. She loves to dress up in eclectic clothes and has no idea of where she wants to go in life. After the café, which has been her job for a number of years, closes, she struggles to find a job which she would enjoy. In desperation she attends an interview for a carer for Will. Her job it seems is to act as a companion to him, which would be easy if it wasn’t for the obvious fact that he seems to hate her and doesn’t even want her in the same room.
A few chapters into the book and I began to feel smug – I know where this is going. Even when the characters start to drop hints that Will has attempted suicide recently and needs to be under close surveillance, I still felt confidently I knew where this book was heading. Will and Lou will gradually learn to like each other and to become friends. Then there will be a slight romance and maybe even something more. Perhaps a medical breakthrough as well? And it will all end happily ever after.
And in some ways I was right. Will gradually becomes accustomed to Lou and her crazy ways. Lou gradually begins to understand Will and together the two start to become friends. Then Lou overhears a chance conversation between Will’s mum and sister and I realised how wrong I could be. Will has asked to die. After his failed suicide attempt, he started look at a specialist clinic in Switzerland, designed to help people end their lives, and has asked his parents to take him there. Initially horrified and disgusted by the idea, his parents have no choice but to consider his request, as the option is to live with the threat of him trying to kill himself again and again. As a compromise, they have given Will 6 months. After that, if he still wishes, they will take him to Switzerland. Lou is horrified and unable to understand that she has been brought in to try and offer Will hope, and to try and change his mind.
It is at that point that I realised not only had I completely mis-judged this book and the story but that ultimately, there are only a few directions that this story can take. Either he goes or he stays. He either lives or dies.
This must have been an incredibly difficult book to write and it is very very hard to read. There have been a few high profile cases in the media of assisted suicide and the clinic in Switzerland has come under focus of TV documentaries and newspapers. A reader coming to the book may already have their beliefs in place. They might believe suicide is wrong under any circumstances. They may believe it is wrong but in some circumstances it is right. They might even be able to identify with the characters and their dilemmas. But none of this can prepare you for the emotional impact of seeing life through Will’s eyes and seeing it through Lou’s. And nothing could have prepared me for reading the final chapter of the book. It really wasn’t what I was expecting. And no one else in my family was prepared for the crying that went on for some time after having read it.
This book is sad, it’s poignant, it’s funny and it’s real. Will himself maybe a figment of Jojo’s imagination but there are countless cases of people in similar situations to him and there are sadly many families and friends in the UK who are having to make a similar decision to Will’s family. There is no attempt at starting a debate on assisted suicide in the Uk. Jojo wisely makes the decision not to focus on the legal side of things, and doesn’t use the book as a platform to try and change people’s minds or to open up a discussion. But this book is still desperately compelling and never have I ever felt so confused at an ending before. Because by the end of the book, you don’t know how you feel about it all either.
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